It’s pitch black in my bedroom aside from the glow of my phone. The curtains are drawn, every tiny light is covered, I’m desperately aching for sleep to claim me, and yet, I’m reading about the symptoms of a cough that has kept me up for weeks.

In my deepest moments of pain or illness, my first thought is still sometimes…google. I’ll lay in misery and go down the rabbit hole, finding endless options and not many answers.

Then I remember who the heck I am, tune into my body, and discover the direction I need*

It takes an incredible act of surrender to put down the phone and turn towards your body instead. Because in the exhaustion flares, the migraines, the latest bug that kids brought home from school, it feels easier to outsource than to in-source. It feels easier to seek a solution than to listen with no agenda.

I was taught to treat symptoms like an emergency to solve. Something to put all of my energy into making them go away. Most of us were.

This idea that I could listen to the stories of my soma came after a lifetime of trying it that way and chasing my tail. Endless circles with a body that was just “sensitive.”

So, years ago, in a moment of desperation, I asked…what if that sensitivity could speak?

And it turns out it can. It does. Loudly. Often, as what we call symptoms.

But what if I could step back from the symptoms so I could hear their underlying voice better? What if there was some distance between us, and I could have a relationship with these symptoms and sensations?

What if the migraine was repressed anger? What if the stomach sensitivities came from a lifetime of fawning? What if the chronic exhaustion was my body telling me I was putting my energy in the wrong places?

And that’s how I’ve spent the past decade with my body. In endless curiosity.

In studying and understanding the patterns and what is moving beneath the physical manifestation.

In nurturing the relationship with my bones. Amongst my organs. Recognizing that each piece has a unique way that it communicates with me, and with the other parts of my physical and energetic self.

As a budding gardener, I’m realizing there’s a lot of commonality between creating this animist relationship with my body and creating an ecosystem that thrives and feeds not only my family, but all the beings that live in and amongst it.

Walking my apple trees around in the space and feeling where they most want to be is exactly how I sense my own environment.

Do I relax here? Am I tense? Is there something that feels off? Will I be nourished in this space? My body tells me, just like the apple trees tell me.

“Pest control” feels akin to symptom management.

The question isn’t “how do I make this cedar rust go away?” but “what does this cedar rust have to tell me about the health of the environment?” What does the garden need to manage this on its own? Can it? Is there something I need to provide?

I’ve found in any place, whether it's my body or the garden, when I turn to control and “management” rather than conversation and support, there’s an element of colonization.

How am I trying to optimize this? Where do I want more than what’s available? Am I pushing productivity rather than seasons and cycles?

Where am I living and embodying an energy or a story that doesn’t fit with my orientation towards life?

The Bone Codes bridges the gap between googling and conversing

It lets you ask the question, “what is going on with my neck?!” while inviting you to inquire about flexibility.

Or to understand if that nagging ankle pain is truly physical or if there’s a moment of refinement needed.

This deck is an invitation to tend to your body like you’d tend to a garden–like you’d tend to anything oriented towards life, coherence, and wholeness. It’s a consistent touch-point to draw you back into conversation.

*Of course, sometimes seeking medical attention is what’s called for. This is where I feel obliged to leave you with the disclaimer that this deck is for educational purposes only, and not professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

But I know you know that :)

If you’re ready to begin growing and tending your relationship with your bones, reserve your deck today.​

Ash

P.S. A Sanctuary of support to be with the thing you’ve spent years trying to escape, manage, or control is opening again soon. Let’s spend a year together living your mythosomatic life, immersed in somatic energy healing and community care. A special invitation is coming your way, Stay tuned…

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